What if my Addicted Partner
won’t Stop?
... In regard to my suggestion that the spouse of a person with alcoholism / addiction begin to change her (or his) way of living, i.e. by seeking counseling and other forms of support, I might have overlooked a crucial point which these readers thankfully pointed out. I implied that when one family member changes, the entire family “system” must change. Reader H. Hall wrote to say that things did change in her situation; she ended up leaving a husband who refused to stop drinking.
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What Can We Do to Help Our Adult, Drug-Addicted Daughter?
We have a 30 yr old daughter addicted to drugs and alcohol. Recently lost custody and suppose to have supervised visits with her son, who is 7. He lives with his dad who lets him go over there and spend the night even tho the courts have said NO. We no longer have a relationship with our daughter, we dont help with anything. She lives in a rent free apartment with her drugie boyfriend, gets food stamps and doesnt keep a job for more than 2 months at a time if she works at all.
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The Double Bind of Sex Addiction
I want to address an issue that lies at the heart of sex addiction: the double bind a person with sex addiction lives with, and how the tension created by this double bind creates a vicious cycle – which only strong and consistent intervention can break, and keep broken in favor of a healthier life (By intervention I mean treatment, recovery, etc.).
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Trauma, Shame and Addiction
There is a direct connection between trauma, shame and addiction. Shame often has its roots in feelings of inadequacy and incompetence around skills necessary to navigate life: relationships, work, sex, money, etc.
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Tiger, meet Carl
It may be a little tacky to address the overhyped scandal du jour, but I can’t help noticing a psycho-spiritual element in regards to the Tiger Woods saga. It brings to mind Carl Jung’s comments on the “dark” (or repressed) part of the personality, what he called the Shadow. The Shadow contains those skeletons we prefer to keep in the closet of our (un)conscious mind, the underbelly of the ego as it were, the parts we’d rather not see. Often we project these parts onto others and blame them, to sanitize ourselves.
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My Wife / Husband / Child
is Finally in Rehab; Now What?
So your child or romantic partner (or close friend, sibling, etc) has finally agreed to go to rehab for his/her drinking or drug problem. Now what?
There are some important things you can start doing right away, and approximately none of them have to do with the addict/alcoholic. They are, however, related to the person you've likely been ignoring for a while now, if in fact you've been living with, helping, or "enabling" the addict.
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